Our first experience with Disney’s transportation is a good one. Our bus to Animal Kingdom arrives at bus stop 4 a mere 5 minutes after we arrive. Great! There are only 3 other people on the bus with us: a very sweet elderly couple and their daughter. DS strikes up a conversation with the elderly gentleman upon noticing the man’s marine pin on his hat. (DS is a huge history/military buff) 

The 80ish year old man lights up like a Christmas tree. We are treated to some amazing World War II stories accompanied by some viewings of his scars from “shrapnel from the Japs” <sic> He proudly shows DS his purple heart. DS is awestruck. So am I, frankly. We very sincerely thank this man for his sacrifices for our country. His spunky wife rolls her eyes and says, “Now you’ve done it! It’s all we’ll hear about all day!”

The former marine laughs heartily and continues telling tales to DS. I’m not at all sure that anything Disney has to offer could beat this for DS. Once at Animal Kingdom we say our goodbyes to these wonderful people and head for the gates. 

Our first stop is the nearest gift shop to find My Pal Mickey…the computer-chipped little guy that is soon to become our best buddy and tour guide extraordinaire. Unfortunately, his services are not free. We plunk down a $60 deposit and he is ours. He immediately begins vibrating and laughing and tells us some corny jokes. DS loves this. He is pretty cute.  Sometimes we fight over him.

Our next stop is the Kilimanjaro Safari ride. The posted standby wait time is 30 minutes….I try to convince DS that it would be ever so much smarter to grab a fastpass and come back later, but he is stubborn and insists we wait in line. There is no reasoning with him so I relent. 

It is a long wait but Mickey keeps us entertained with games and more corny jokes. DS has fun showing an elderly woman in a wheelchair how he works. She is fascinated. I’m beginning to see a trend here and wonder if I could make money hiring DS out to elder-care type places for days at a time.

We finally reach the front of the line and sit in the front of the “jeep”. This is a fantastic “ride”. We see alligators, giraffes, elephants, flamingos, lions like this one:

and many many other animals. They are very active – probably due to the coolness of the day. I attempt to take my second picture of the day with my digital camera when I see the little “low battery” icon…….Now, let me pause here, to vent. I had asked my DH to do ONE little thing….make sure that my digital camera was in working order. I must have been mumbling some not so nice things about DH because DS leans over and says, “Dad’s in big trouble isn’t he?” I told you, he’s a perceptive one. 

Oh well, I decide to enjoy the ride in the moment. The best part is seeing DS’s face during the “bridge routine” (I won’t spoil it for you if you haven't done the ride before) and as much as many people dislike the Poacher shtick….DS loves it!

Next, we ride Dinosaur! This is fantastic! I scream my head off. I’m not sure about my son because frankly, I can’t hear anything but my own screams. FUN! Next we ride Primevil Whirl which is fun but I feel a bit inhibited as we have to share our madly spinning vehicle with an adult couple who are acting a bit too adultish. This makes it difficult to scream and be silly. This ride is okay, not great. It seems out of place at Disney. Now it’s time for DS to buy his first pins for his lanyard - the thingie around his neck.

I quickly realize how fast we could blow our wad on these suckers. I find myself “needing” lots of them. I have at least 4 in hand for myself, when common sense takes over and I reluctantly put them back, though not without some genuine pouting. Luckily for me, DS has a fist-full-o Disney dollars given to him by Grandma and Grandpa so he is able to buy 3 or 4 without any pangs of guilt. These, combined with the 2 he was given at the hotel, are making his lanyard look really cool. I glance down at mine. Empty, save for the free one I got from AAA. I decide to take it off and shove it in my fanny pack. I’m a little jealous.

Our next stop is the Kali Rapid River Ride…I remember reading that there can be big waits for this ride so I am prepared to do fastpass…but what do you know, we walk right on! I wonder why? It occurs to me after the first 18 gallons of water are dumped on my head…..it is a cool day. When it is a cool day it does NOT feel good to be wet. DUH! We finally exit and the lovely CM tells DS – “You can go again if you like, there is no wait!” OH SUPER! I wish I still had my ballpoint pen! “Why don’t YOU go on it…that’ll wipe that smile off your face.”....these are my evil thoughts ..... I start to protest but DS is so excited that we do it again! More water, more cold. But he loves it.

I decide now would be a great time to eat lunch and dry off. For 2 months, I have been meticulously planning and plotting where we will eat at each park and I have my heart set on Flame Tree Barbeque. I study the map and steer us in what I am sure is the right direction. Wrong. I try again. Wrong. Is anyone else confused by the letters, the numbers, the symbols on these maps??? 

DS says, “Now I know why Daddy usually does the maps.” 

Where IS that ballpoint pen? Finally after one more failed attempt…I give up and we go to Pizzafari. DS couldn’t be more thrilled as this is where he wanted to go all along. There is a line to order but it moves quickly. I order the mesquite grilled chicken Caesar salad and a diet coke and DS has (what else?) the Pepperoni pizza and a sprite. He cannot order the kid’s pizza meal because that only includes cheese pizza. 

DS is quite incensed by this and asks me, “Why do people always assume that kids don’t like anything but cheese pizza?” 

This is a bigger question than I know how to answer. The salad is big enough, but the chicken has that processed appearance and texture and I don’t have a clue why they call it mesquite…there is zero flavor. I think they tried to compensate for this lack of flavor by dumping an entire box of croutons on the salad. It takes me a full 5 minutes to pick them all out, as I am trying not to eat carbs. DS’s pizza has a very thick crust (think pan pizza) and DS pronounces it to be "okay but not great". He gives it 2 1/2 out of 5 stars. After suffering through half of my 2 star salad I ditch the low-carb idea and scarf down all of DS’s uneaten pizza (once he’s full of course). He's right, it is not great but a heck of a lot more satisfying than my salad. I’d even propel it to 3 stars. We leave full at least. 

We move on to see the Tigers, which are DS’s favorite animal. He begs me to take a picture of him in front of the tiger in the window, which would have been the best picture ever since his nickname is “Johnny Tiger” and his room is decorated in a tiger/jungle theme…but remember that my digital camera doesn’t have working batteries because of DH. More mumbling about DH from me. Oh well.

We go to see “Bug’s Life” and LOVE it! This is our first experience with 4-D! Wonderful stuff. My only complaint is the number of parents who drag their very young children to see this. I cannot tell you how many were screaming in terror and ruining it for the rest of us. I understand that the parents may not have read the warnings but at least take the poor child out of the theater once he/she shows signs of distress such as SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER!

Much of the rest of our time at AK is spent with me trying to figure out the stupid map. I even locate the BIG map in the middle of the park and try to understand that one to no avail. “Why am I so retarded?” I wonder aloud. 

The man standing next to me finds this most amusing. DS does not. He reiterates his desire for Dad to "be here so we can find things.” Maybe I can buy a ballpoint pen somewhere around here. Maybe I should stop talking to myself OUT LOUD.

Finally, we decide to go back to the hotel for a swim – well actually he decides to do that. I guess he is tired of wandering aimlessly with me asking, “Can you see the big tree? Once we find that I’ll know where we are.” On the way out we see Timon signing autographs. I have brought along a laundry marker so the characters can sign his t-shirt. Timon signs it and gives DS a BIG bear hug. Any fears I had previously that DS was too old for characters disappears. He is thrilled and smiling ear to ear.

We head to the buses and wait a LOOOONG time for ours.

DS loves the CSR pool, especially the long waterslide and the cougar that spits water on you. 

While DS enjoys the slide, I sit in the lounge chair sipping an umbrella drink that only cost $8 (geesh) and try to warm up in the sun. This lasts for all of 5 minutes before DS begs me to try the slide. He’s not kidding either. I guess I should have expected this since he has no brothers along to play with. I don’t know what it is about growing up, but it has caused me to have no desire to actually get IN the pool (unless of course, it’s really hot out which it isn’t!) 

“C’mon, Mom, it’s really warm!” he begs. “Really? You promise?” I ask.“YES Mom, I promise!” he assures me. 

He’s jumping up and down now and causing quite a scene. Frankly, I’m getting used to people staring by now. Okay…fine. The real tragedy here is that I cannot wear my wrap up to the top of the slide. I have to take it off now and climb up lots of steps where many will be able to see me from behind. NOT GOOD.  He makes me go first. I sit on the slide and OMG it is NOT warm, it is freezing. Unfortunately, it is too late to turn back now, especially since DS gives me a push. I am propelled down the slide by the rushing water and of course, the force of my own body weight. I bet the kids wish THEY could reach these kinds of speeds. The cougar spits on me and I have some choice words for him. At the bottom I am flung into the pool with great force. I surface to find many surprised parents looking on. I guess they haven’t done the slide yet. Shoot, now my hair is wet. When my DS arrives, I question his idea of warm water. 

“Oh, well see, once you walk back up the steps the second time while you are wet you’ll be so cold that when you get in again, the water feels really warm.” I really wish he had explained this sensible theory to me before. At any rate, he will not be satisfied until I go a second time. What the heck, I have more to say to that cougar.

Finally, it is time to go back to the room and get ready for dinner. Then, we take the bus to the Magic Kingdom and hop on the monorail to the Polynesian. I ask the CM if DS can man the rail (sit in the front) and we are granted our request. This is perhaps the biggest thrill to him of all. The CM is very sweet. She tells us that the restaurant we are going to, O’Hana’s is the favorite of all CMs. She also tells us the best place to go to watch Wishes, the fireworks show, after dinner. After the ride, she gives DS a monorail co-pilot’s license which apparently means much to him. He grills me every 10 minutes for the duration of our trip regarding its whereabouts.

The Polynesian is beautiful. 

I’d love to stay here some day. You feel like you really are in the South Pacific. Upstairs at O’Hanas we check in about 20 minutes early. I am so grateful we have Priority Seating, as there are MANY people trying to get in….lots of unhappy faces when they are told about the 1 1/2 hour wait. We are given a pager and told to make ourselves comfy in the Tambulounge, which we do. I order the Lapu Lapu (the drink in the pineapple) and DS has the “Sand in Your Pants” drink which is a combination of a virgin strawberry daquiri and a virgin pina colada. He loves it and is thrilled to have received an umbrella in his drink. 

After 20 minutes, our pager goes off and we are seated. I have no illusions that we will get a window seat since I have not requested it. Miracles of miracles, the hostess seats us at what looks to be the best seat in the house! We have a fantastic view of the palm trees and the water. Beautiful. 

The waitress brings the appetizers: a lazy susan filled to overflowing with salad, sticky wings, rice, green beans with bacon, shrimp wontons and 3 sauces : ginger/cilantro,peanut, and a fruit sauce. I don’t care much for the fruit sauce, but the other 2 are fabulous. 

This food is divine and we eat so much of it, we hardly had room for the main entrée. DS participates in the hula hoop contest with no hesitation at all. (Oh to have no inhibitions!) This is just about the funniest thing I have ever seen. I try taking pictures (I had picked up my regularcamera that actually had batteries before we left the hotel) but am unsure if they will turn out as I am laughing so hard. A winded DS joins me at the table and pronounces everything “perfect”. “Everyone is so nice here at Disney, Mom”.  

Soon our wonderful waitress, Margo, returns with endless skewers of steak, spicy shrimp, chicken and pork. We love it all. After eating, DS participates in the coconut races. More fun. Dessert is pineapple dipped in warm caramel sauce. We can barely fit it in, but we manage, licking our fingers. A final hula hoop contest is announced and I ask DS if he wants to do it…. He considers briefly and says, “Heck yeah!”

At the end of the meal, Margo gives DS a big kiss on the forehead. We would come back here in a heartbeat.

The damage: $36.19 + tip….not bad for this much food and fun. 

We head outside to hold hands and watch the fireworks. “This is the best day ever!” we both agree.

Here is the recipe for O'Hana's Honey Coriander Wing Sauce...yummy!

Ingredients:

1/8 cup chili powder
1/4 cup ground ginger
2 tsp lime zest (or to taste)
1/4 cup coriander
1 cup soy sauce
1 3/4 cup honey

Method:

Place all ingredients in a sauce pan.

Heat until hot.

Remove from heat and let cool. Serve with chicken wings.