10. You love everything about passing gas.  Hearing it done. Repeatedly.  Talking about it.  Thinking about it. Laughing      about it.  PARTICIPATING IN CONTESTS!  Secondary to this is your immense love of #2 as a topic of conversation.

9.  You absolutely LIVE to pick up filthy discarded socks and underwear, all day long, in every corner and crevice of your     house.  The only thing better is wet towels - especially mildew-y ones! yeee haww

8.  You have an affinity for trips to the Emergency Room, don't mind copious amounts of blood , and are really OK with it when your child comes to the front door missing an eyebrow.

7.   You consider a trip to the Gun and Knife show a fan-freaking-tastic way to spend your Saturday.

6.   Your idea of top notch entertainment is sittin' down to watch Nascar racing for an entire afternoon while stuffing chips drenched in hot canned cheese in your mouth and pausing only momentarily to shout out, "Boogity, boogity, boogity!"

5.   You refuse to be denied your daily dose of dirty, filthy, infectious Toilet Bowl Cleaning. 

4.  You absolutely, positively, DETEST shopping for yourself and never EVER want to do THAT again.  You love playing with GI Joes and are so damn glad you don't have to play with a Barbie - that you could dress up in cute, non-camouflaged outfits - and accessorize and provide a stunning villa for.  

3.   You love XBOX so so SO much that you don't even care that you'll never get to watch your own tv again.

2.  It really isn't that important to you to have a successful, organized, self-starter of a student for a child.

1.  You absolutely detest peace and quiet and sanity and your favorite phrases are:

and my personal favorite: